Mixed emotions

A lot can happen within a month or so which can affect a person’s life either positively or negatively which has been happening. There have been times where I feel that I’m on a pretty good track, but of course there have been distractions that have been affecting me and my performance a slight bit in school where at the same time I’ve been trying to maintain my work ethic, but it seems that I don’t have the same energy.

There’s a lot of reasons why I don’t have the same amount of energy at the moment to do my studies. A lot has to do with bad family issues where it has affected me since I got to put aside some of my valuable time to attend them such as helping taking care of my nieces and nephews which can be extra for me. There’s more issues that are happening, but it’s too deep for discussion. All I know is that it’s been something that has been ongoing for a few months now. Also the loss of the Grandparents has been an affect on me even if I’m not noticing it. Even though it’s going onto 3 years since I lost both of them it feels like yesterday. I still had to be busy when dealing with my Grandparents, but the difference is that I didn’t really have to worry about anything else other than school. I know I’m still missing them both mentally, but more importantly physically.

I’m still trying to put my best foot forward since it’s the 2nd half of my last semester here at MCTC before I move on where I’m trying to get things set up such as trying to apply for Metro State, apply for more scholarships and find more financial resources, and plenty of more things to do to make sure I’m good to go. I’m even considering of joining Phi Theta Kappa at my school so I can try to receive scholarship opportunities and of course strengthen my opportunities on my college application and resume.

I remember messaging my best friend on messenger where I talked to her about what’s going with me which was good for me instead of always talking to family all the time. She told me how to approach situations differently where I should have a cold mindset which meant not always overwhelm your mind where I should take things one step at a time where I am detaching myself from my emotional temperatures. At the end of the day it was good for me to get my emotions out.

Now that I had the spring break to reset despite me having the flu I believe I can still finish the semester on a good note especially doing a better job of taking some of my work a little more serious instead of taking it for granted such as my mathematics. In my precalculus class I’m doing a decent job, but I want to be better. Partially it’s because I think I have been taking it for granted since math is my strength. It’s always important to remember that things are going to be very challenging even if they happen to be in something you’re really good at.


Tired of being comfortable; Making a change

In 4 months I will be turning 21 years old as I’m in my early years as a woman who has moved on from being a kid. However, there will still be times where I feel like a kid such as living with my parents, taking some classes that I’m comfortable with, taking the bus for transportation, etc. So at this moment I have came to a point where I want to start taking on challenges I need to not only succeed in life, but just make adult moves.

During this week there have been several times where I have broke down in tears because of how tired I am of having it kind of ‘easy’. I placed easy in quotations because of course everything I have been through or have done wasn’t easy. I remember during my senior year of high school and my first semester of college I had to deal with taking care of my grandparents along with trying to maintain a good GPA. Successfully I did as I graduated high school with a 3.76 GPA along with high honors. So I have no regrets. However, now as I begin to move up in my life I want to start making changes to myself where I can start taking good risks in order to better myself as a person who is experiencing adult life. I’m really starting to take life and school more serious. Not to mention my interest and skills in mathematics where I want to start applying myself.

These last 2 months have made me look at school and life a lot more different than before. Going through the things, mentioned in my recent blogs, I am beginning to develop the growth mindset where I’m slowly leaving the fixed mindset. For a long time in my life I’ve been in a fixed mindset where I’m used to doing things that are comfortable for me where the challenges are minimum since I want success. Now I want to live through the growth mindset where I want to take on uncomfortable challenges where I can strive through hard work because I know that I have a great ability to get through obstacles.

There have been things I’ve been doing in making my daily steps of growth. Already I’ve created a resume which has been a good experience for me, preparing myself for my driving test, building up my credit by buying myself a phone along with going on my own plan, creating a SMART goal of getting my own apartment, and already being ready for the spring semester where I’m focusing on graduating. So already I’ve been busy for a while for the better of my future. I’m not the same person I was a week ago or even a couple days ago. I feel stronger everyday.

I know my destination will be tough, but already I’m not afraid of the journey. Just as long as I can think positively and remotely I’ll be fine. I’m just ready to come out of my shell and be a woman who will take advantage of all her strengths instead of being afraid to because of the obstacles that will come along the way that will try to slow me down. I feel everyday I’m overcoming my weaknesses that have held my back in truly striving and growing. In closing, it’s been painful of being comfortable for a while. Now I’m striving through my next steps. In the year 2018 it’s game on!

Pleased with myself

I know that it’s been at least a week ever since the blog was due, but I didn’t have anything to talk about because I wanted to wait until I was finished with all of my classes to reflect on this semester. Even though I still have to attend school because of my tutoring job, this semester was a semester that was more of an eye-opener for me where I feel a lot more comfortable about my future going forward.

There’s a lot to look back on this semester from beginning to now. I believe that I have truly grew as a person where I feel more determined and ready for any kind of challenge with the power of perserverance and what I learned from my stress management health class. Next semester will be my last at MCTC where a lot has happened from semester 1 to now. Throughout my journey I genuinely feel my self-esteem and confidence going from a 7 to a 9 on my scale from 1-10. My progression in terms of going an extra mile in terms of effort in my studies has gone really good as I feel that I will end my time at MCTC with a bang.

Honeslty there have been times where I have felt worn out because of how much I would push myself beyond my comfort zone. It was tiring, but a good experience in terms of growing. I’m happy that I can use techniques to better my mental and physical health. I’m planning to use informal exercising practices as a way to do that. So from the last sentence I do receommend students to take a health stress management class along with people (non-college students/older adults) taking times out of their day to do a little physical exercise. I’m just going to say this again that if it wasn’t for the health class I wouldn’t have had the endurance to execute my studies to my highest ability.

I know that I can say that next semester will be my best because of me graduating, but this semester was the best of me of not being afraid to perform to my fullest potential along with not being afraid to take on bigger challenges. I’m just happy that we can be placed in certain situations where we can grow instead of worrying about if we’re going to make it or not since that was a problem for me in the past. Tutoring also took a factor in it as well.

Doing just fine

It’s pretty much the middle of the fall semester where I’m halfway done with my 5th semester at MCTC. Usually around this time, from my past blogs, I would talk about how much I’m stressing over a certain class where I’m overwhelmed and want to drop out. However, that isn’t the story at all this time. I’m in a very good place where I should get through this semester successfully and smoothly.

I’ve got one class to thank for guiding me to become more stress free. I’m taking a stress management health class this semester which has helped me think differently instead of always reverting to think negatively. We would do meditations and practices where we would acknowledge about whatever is bothering us to let it be, and then when we do we should come back to the present and focus on our current task. I wasn’t feeling it at first, but the more we did them I tried doing them individually as my approach. Then of course we would have to fill out logs as homework assignments.

When taking on these practices individually the result would have me being less stressed during my everyday life with tasks. Usually I would think about a lot to get done, but being in the mindset of focusing on one thing while the other tasks will get done eventually because of myself being reliable has helped me to get through the semester better. This has resulted me into staying on my high horse as I’ve been doing great in all of my classes.

Overall, I believe the challenge I took on is stepping out of my comfort zone of always overwhelming myself where I would get stressed and sometimes complain. Instead of doing this I think with more of an open mind of organizing my time to get things done which has worked in my favor. Also when I’m not tutoring students in the learning center I will complete my tasks in my spare time leaving more time for me to simply relax without having any worries. I feel more healthy mentally!


I’ve started my final year at MCTC, and I’ve been fairly busy. From being into the books along with finding a new job. Things have been stable for the most part. There have been some moments of stress, but they have been overthrown by resiliency. I’m making baby steps towards my career path.

I’ve finally got a new job where I’ll be a math tutor in MCTC’s Learning Center. The weird thing about it is that I haven’t really thought about much of being a tutor as I was thinking about other jobs outside of school. but I could see how tutoring was linked towards my career path of working with children in mathematics as a community worker. I’ll be starting this week as I’m very excited!

I have also been making a push in telling more people about my career interest as I attended the college fair at my school this past week. I went to Metropolitan State’s table where that will be the school I want to attend next fall. I asked about their math program and told them why I want to go into math. Let’s just say they’ve told me I can meet them at any time to talk more about enrolling, etc.

I’m curious of where the math tutoring job will guide me towards to. I’m ready for the challenge to flourish my communication skills so I can take more steps to accomplish my dream. I’m even comfortable as I have a good support system!

May blog

This blog may sound a bit cliche, but getting through all of my obstacles was the best thing that has ever happened to me! I finished my second year at MCTC with two A’s and two C’s which I didn’t believe I was going to get. Dealing with work along with the workload of school made me feel even stronger.

It’s been a tough, but good 2nd year for me. I received more experience, and I have gotten closer with my advisor where I feel I can go to her for anything. Also I love the fact I have good relationships with the teachers I have because I didn’t think my biology teacher would trim his grading a bit to make sure I can still maintain a good grade. That taught me to always stay a good student no matter what because you can be rewarded no matter the circumstance.

Here I am preparing for my 3rd year of college on a good note where I feel at ease knowing that I’ll be alright. I’m still focusing on what I want to do as a career because I actually have a good plan of what I want to do. Of course I’m still going to focus on my studies to see if any new interests come my way.

April blog

Here’s a month where I was finding myself overwhelmed and freaking out. With me being overloaded with big assignments and work hours I thought I didn’t find myself capable of getting through the semester.

My biology class was really the class that had me anxious overall because even though it was an introductory biology class it felt like a principles biology class of some sort. I say this because we would always have an exam every 2 1/2-3 weeks where we would have lectures on 3-5 long chapters per lecture for an exam. It would be frustrating because I have to deal with other various things such as work and of course trying to make sure I do good in my other classes. I didn’t do well on the exams as I wanted too where this made me feel even more worried.

One day when my English teacher said tomorrow will be the last day to withdraw from classes I immediately thought this would be the opportunity for me to try to drop out of biology to avoid getting a bad grade on my transcript. However, before I attempted to do so I went to visit my advisor first to tell her about it. My advisor replied with telling me the effect of withdrawing and of course seeing my instructor first for my reason of withdrawing. When she was telling me all of this I wanted to say “I’m fine with that sacrifice”, but I did realize that financial aid money isn’t something to waste. Then my advisor wanted to go online to check my grades, and to see how my teacher grades. When we saw how my professor grades she says that it’s not so bad since a percentage of 63% or higher is considered passing on a test. Then when we went to my calculated grade so far I was at 71% which is passing. When she saw that she told me not to withdraw along with me knowing that I was over dramatic.

The next day I went to my biology professor’s office hour to talk to him about my situation. He understood and told me what I was going through was completely normal. He told me not to discourage myself because I’m one of his best students, and that grades don’t determine that. He also told me that he trimmed his grading a bit because he would see some students not getting the grade they would want but also putting the work into it. I felt a lot better about passing my biology class. So he told me if I had any questions, when I have the actual time, then I can come in. After that I felt great.

This is a lesson for me when I get over dramatic. I should perhaps think more than doing or assuming.